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The
following are suggestions that other adoptive families found helpful.-
We have grieved for the biological child we may not have.
- We have
dealt with our infertility by talking with each other and with support services,
and are ready to move forward.
- My spouse is open to consider adoption.
Both of us are feeling ready to go forward to explore the adoption process.
-
Our decision has evolved gradually over a period of time and is not a spur-of-the-moment
reaction to a pregnancy loss or bad medical news.
- We spend more time
thinking about and working toward adoption than we do on achieving a pregnancy.
-
It has become more important to parent a child, to become a family, than to
have a successful pregnancy.
- We have read a number of books and articles
about adoption.
- We have attended informational meetings at more than
one agency and have an understanding about the Home Study process.
- We
have collected information about several different types of adoption before deciding
which one to pursue.
- We have talked to at least three couples who
have been through the adoption experience.
- We understand the risks involved
in considering legal risk or private adoption and feel capable of handling them.
-
We have told important family and friends that we are thinking about adopting.
-
We feel comfortable going public with our adoption plans.
- We
have looked completely at the finances involved in adopting and parenting, and
feel they are within our means.
- We have thought about our parenting
expectations and the skills we have to meet a child’s needs.
- We are
not expecting this adoption to help us achieve a pregnancy, to fix the challenges
with our marriage, or to fill an empty life.
- We would not feel ashamed
to tell our child that he or she was adopted.
- We feel that we can
accept the hereditary traits that adoption will bring to our family.
-
We are ready to commit ourselves to parenting and forming a family with a child
born to others.
- We have looked at all the elements a child will bring
to our family (religious, racial, medical, ethnic) and are ready to accept him
or her with them, not in spite of them.
- We are actively pursuing
adoption by educating ourselves, joining support groups, and meeting with attorneys
or agencies.
- We realize that adoptive and birth parenting are not
the same, that there are losses for everyone and gains for everyone, and are prepared
to accept the extra challenges involved in this role.
- We will be appropriate
role models for a child. We have set support systems in place.
- We
have time to spend with a child, and want to make time in our lives for a child.
Our lifestyle accommodates children.
- We are able to view adoption
as an alternative, not "second best."
- We realize that our
parenting roles will last a lifetime.
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